i would defeat your dad in a wet tee-shirt contest

sexy girl asks me for a light
sexy girl steps on my feet 
a little
sexy girl sees me as a giant lighter carrier
maybe
- sexy girl i like your top
- it's a dress
- it's a tee shirt
- it's a sock
no i dont know
sexy girl it's ok if you want to steal my lighter
i dont want to give it to you
but if you steal it from me i wont say anything
ok
do you want me to teach you 
how to soundlessly murder an infant, sexy girl?

do you remember when you spoke with a baby voice and i wanted to punch you a little

i wouldnt mind if a tsunami hit me in the face when i sleep

i wouldnt mind living in a country where cats would make all the important political decisions

i wouldnt mind lecturing a small group of students about something non-controversial, like vacuum cleaners

i wouldnt mind being unsure about everything but im probably wrong

we can still be ≈ friends

i want to organize an event named 


'big mass exodus from my life'


everybody will join 


or at least 'tentatively attend'


and when they come


i will just wave goodbye 


with a barely perceptible hand motion

underaged bat pregnancy

under a good light you could see all my ribs

through the front of my chest

and count them to sleep

but it's really dark here

and i don't particularly have a light

yesterday the bats have left my apartment

cause i've been crying for the last 10 000 years

and the floor was a little flooded

just kidding

they never left

i offered them black roses

dyed industrially

short story tentatively named 'titanic 3D' or 'brigitte bardot'

i wish Prunelle was a radio-controlled floating cat

she would still be a domestic cat

except with additional floating abilities

for some reason

on a sunny afternoon

i would bring her to the lake

drive her super fast

possibly break a few world records too

unintentionally

after a month or so

her fan base would have grown a lot

and when i'd bring her to the lake

people would be all like

'oh shit, it's Floating Prunelle over here'

that's when i would quit my corporate job

to travel with Floating Prunelle to asia

until she would catch a rare aquatic disease

causing her lungs to be replaced with water lilies

because of me

Prunelle would cough a lot and give up smoking

but she should never have started smoking in the first place

i would bring her to a mountainous place where the air is so dry

that it can cure many aquatic diseases

she would stay in bed for several months

in a mix-gender (humans + cats) hospital

run by a precocious young doctor

soon enough

the water lilies that replaced her lungs would stop growing

and i would start writing an evasive poetry book

about her rare aquatic disease

and how she became

a radio-controlled

floating

cat

the ultimate guide to conversation: high school 'stoner' edition

________ smokes weed with his mother/father. it's really cool

when i'll have my own appartement, i'll grow weed. it'll be really cool

it's when im NOT high that my parents usually think im high. it's not really cool but also kinda cool in a way

marijuana can cure diseases and all. it's really cool

______ is always high. he's really cool

native american indians, vietnam soldiers and shakespeare all smoked weed. that's why they were all really cool

in holland u can buy weed everywhere it's not illegal. it's really cool

we made some weed cookies yesterday and ate them and i cant really confirm if it was really cool cause we were already high when we ate them. guess it was really cool, though

michael jordan

when i was 8 or maybe 9

i played basketball for one year

i think

i only have 2 memories of my NBA junior years

the first one is that time when i skipped the weekly training

because i had a stomachache

and i went to the hospital

and they said i should eat more vegetables

the second one is that basketball match i played

i dont remember who won

i dont remember who were the opponents

i dont remember if i even touched the ball once

i dont remember if the trainer gave us a pre-game pep talk

i dont remember if we showered collectively

or if we showered at all

but i know this match happened

because i saw a picture of it

in my parents old photo book