détruire, dit-elle

autumn is here and yet i dont want it

never would i have believed

that you’d leave without me

i guess ‘i love you’ and ‘je t’aime’

never meant quite the same 

happiness etc

i will haunt you

in your head

in your bed

in your grave

i will haunt you

but the worst thing is

you’ll haunt me too

you and your sister

i was sitting on the bus on this rainy day
lost in the labyrinthine structure of my sorrow
when a little boy sat in front of me
and his little sister next to him
the little boy was wearing a bright yellow raincoat
with the tip of its sleeves rolled up 
so his tiny hands could emerge
(nobody not even the rain had such small hands!)

after further examination 
i realized he looked almost exactly like me when i was little

the boy kept staring and smiling at me
(possibly understanding our cosmic connection?)

boy, he even made me smile
just a little


epilogue:

the little boy and his sister later started making obscene gestures
looking at me and pointing towards their genitals
my bus stop appeared
this is where the old farts leave
i got off and went back into this rainy grey maze

it's my party and i'll cry if i want to

1993

all dressed up in brown

jurassic tears rolling down my green painted face

napoleon, captain hook and terminator couldnt see it

but my sad dinosaur costume was a

hit

valentines with attitude

dr dre and eazy-e used to sing songs together

then dr dre said eazy-e should ‘eat a big fat dick’

and they didnt sing songs together anymore

eazy-e sat alone writing songs about dre

while dre bragged about having a VCR

in the back of his car

years later eazy-e died

VCRs got old-fashioned

and dr dre sang

‘eazy im still with you

fuck the beef

i miss you’

monolithic ass face part 2

after the nurse stuck a needle in my arm

and after i told her about my previous trauma

after she praised my veins for being so apparent

and after my body temperature dropped bellow freezing point

that’s when i offered her

to take only half of the blood today

and the other half another day

(epilogue: she said lol no this isnt how it works) 

mulder’s unpublished blog post (1994)

she knows all the names for all the molecules

she knows the proper posology for every drug

she knows how to perform postmortem examinations on anything

seriously though

if god loves me

why cant i just be

pretty like scully

this mortal coil

Act I

when i was twelve i once got hit in the face during physical education class

somebody was practicing for handstands

and my face happened to be in his heel’s trajectory

as a little boy from the 90s I thought ouch (my ego)

while some blood dripped from my right eyebrow

then i distinctly remember thinking

‘im bleeding but at least i wont have to do my homework tonight’

Act II

later on that night

with three healing strips over my right eyebrow

i was quietly doing my homework

le monde du silence (how to live a successful aquatic life)

1)  get an oyster shell

2)  shrink yourself down

3)  close the oyster shell tightly around your shrunk down body

4)  reopen the shell slightly as not to be mistaken for a fresh edible oyster

5)  apply for a lifetime citizenship under the deep blue sea

vladipru

your cat and my cat love each other 

they make plans 

to take planes  

together 

your cat calls a taxi 

‘meow meow we would like a taxi to the airport  

no sir  

we do not have family names’ 

my cat gets angry a little  

and her fur turns red 

‘no family names 

you make it sound like we are ghosts’ 

your cat and my cat really love each other 

they make plans 

enough plans 

to fill up nine lives