Sunday, October 9, 2011

October



'You are nice' usually means 'i want to treat you like shit'


I have written a list of things i don't want to do anymore

and it made me feel successful

I have watched a youtube video named 'Crazy Russian Kids'

and it made me feel dizzy


'I am tired' usually means 'i dont want to'



Friday, October 7, 2011

Betrayal Takes Two


Oh hello sadness
nice to meet you again

I've read something yesterday

my favorite part was 'i find you very intelligent, polite, nice and sweet', although those adjectives could apply to anything, like a bottle of milk or a bike

my least favorite part was 'im actually now starting to have contact with someone that i know since i arrived here and i find really nice too'

and then i uncontrollably started to feel like a rotten fruit in a basket next to a pretty fruit, when a customer comes in and picks the pretty fruit

No, really i'm fine.
depressed as hell, though.
poor and lonely.
and you?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

4 unpublished facebook statuses about the modern world




It seems funny to me that r'n'b singer Ashanti had one single in 2002 named 'Baby', then another one in 2003 named 'Rock wit U (Awww Baby)', and another one in 2007 named 'Hey Baby (after the club)'. http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashanti_(chanteuse)




They should make a movie about facebook and name it 'The Social Network'.




I only like people whose facebook page/profile crash my browser.




Sending a text message and then being unanswered for ≈ 4 hours could be a new 'extreme sport' (like snowboard, skateboard, etc). I would be good at it, and maybe i would give my name to some 'tricks' of this new extreme discipline.






Thursday, September 1, 2011

Something trendy, like an emotional complex


I own a crappy phone
and when i text you
you usually don't text me back
but it would be the same with a good phone
and i think people get replaced easily
as soon as the novelty begins to fade
please don't cry bb, it's only a movie



Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Oh it gets dark, it gets lonely


I told my co-worker that it would be nice to communicate via telepathy

like when you'd walk into a room and think 'hello'

everybody would receive the message simultaneously

and nod their head in a pleasant way.


My co-worker said i was a lame human being

Then, he said smthng about Shakira paying ≈ 5000 euros for a night in some hostel somewhere

Somebody else said Shakira is a bitch irl

The same person said people just use social networks to post pics of what they had for dinner


≈ 8-9 hours later, another co-worker said he was leaving because he found another job

Everybody seemed moderately affected by his departure

and I mentally made a long speech about how we're gonna miss him

Monday, June 20, 2011

10 comments in chronological order while watching the last 30 minutes of Alien3













01h18min: SigourneyWeaver asks some guy to kill her because she has a bb alien in her tummy. Some guy seems determined to do it but then ‘half asses’ it and gives an explanation on why he can’t kill her.


01h20min: Guy says ‘that is crazy. That is horseshit’.


01h23min: Other guy looks at his own face in a mirror and acts like he’s going to splash water on his face like they always do in the movies.


01h25min: ‘point of view Alien’ scenes remind me of the video game Wipeout on Playstation1.


01h31min: Somebody is named ‘Jude’. Hey.


01h37min: Jesus. Fake end. Alien is totally not dead.


01h38min: Alien is totally dead and SegourneyWeaver screams ‘yes’ in an unsexy way.


01h40min: Man tries to convince SegourneyWeaver not to kill herself. He says ‘children’ while grinning. Feeling confused about his motives.


01h42min: SegourneyWeaver jumps into a swimming pool of fire. While she’s in the air, a bb alien pops out of her tummy and screams something that seems controversial/revolutionary for a bb alien: eeeeeee eeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee


01h44min: Computer from the future displays a formal message with a retro SpaceInvader type of font.


Friday, June 3, 2011

Chat rooms are forever


N.R:

hi


A.B :

hi

chill?


N.R :

yea'


A.B :

holidays?


N.R:

i graduated from highschool


A.B :

chill

send me a link, or smthng

if u have any


N.R :

of wut


A.B :

smthng kewl

or smthng sad


N.R :

im sad


A.B :

why?


N.R :

I don't know why im so profoundly sad

but I know im sad because my dad keeps fighting with me and it makes me sad

and all my friends are shit

but that's alright

i have 2 lovers

and im just unhappy


A.B :

does ur dad beat u?


N.R :

not entirely


A.B :

not the face

so the teachers can't notice

damn


N.R :

haha

No he doesnt beat me

but he tends to like grab me and yell


A.B :

what does he yell?

'HEEEE'

'OHHHH'


N.R :

You're silly

Yeah but that's my day

how are you ?


A.B :

i slept til 11.00

then slept again till 15.00

it's something.

what did u eat?


N.R :

soup

veggies

chicken

and stawberries


A.B :

strawberries are nice

soup too

i feel like a good person when i eat soup

but i don't do that too often


N.R :

youre bad


A.B :

did ur dad yell at u during dinner?

SOUP


N.R :

ooo

thhat's mean


A.B :

ok


N.R :

pl

ok*


A.B :

what is ‘plok’ ?

i don't know all the abbreviations in the world


N.R:

a typo

youre dumb

or over analytical


A.B:

do u think i'm dumb?


N.R:

no i think youre mean spirited


A.B:

like i want to hurt ppl?

in chat rooms

seems nice


N.R:

hahaha

so bored


A.B:

talk to me


N.R:

hows your life?

meaningless?

redundant?


A.B:

basically


N.R:

Why


A.B:

because it's true

but everybvody's life is kinda pointless


N.R:

still vibing to that mp3 ‘i could die’ by ‘girls names’



A.B:

MP3 OF THE DAY (in big neon letters)


N.R:

maybe


A.B :

do u still go to the mall where u used to work?


N.R:

no

im a photographer at a studio now


A.B:

sweet

porn studio

how did u find this job?


N.R:

Blowing the manager.


A.B:

could be


N.R:

lol he's gay


A.B :

FGGT

i like writing FGGT

but i never do that

writing FGGT

what do u do in the photography studio?


N.R:

take pictures of people kids and people

and say stuff like ‘the camera loves u, bb’


A.B:

i spilled some beer on my shoulder

and then did a move with my face to remove it

like a cat

it was 'incredible'


N.R:

You’re incredible


A.B:

how do u know the guy?


N.R:

he came up to me after a show and said

"you’re N.R, right?"


A.B:

he can guess people's name

can he guess boy's names too?


N.R:

i had him as a friend on fb

but we never talked


A.B:

oh

he's not a magician, then

being a magician would be nice, but without looking too magician-ish

Monday, May 16, 2011

There's a ghost in my house - I can't hide.


I tried to read a book on the train. A weird-looking little book. It's hard to read a weird-looking little book with somebody sitting in front of you. I kept the weird-looking little book on my knees so he couldn't see its cover. I know he'd have judged it by its cover.

Then, I wanted to go insane and shout something like 'ok, this is NOT a comic book'. And, he'd have looked at me with a surprised facial expression, not really understanding what just happened. Maybe not even knowing what the hell is a comic book.

Then, I wanted to tell him about the book in a very serious+amateurish way, like in a review from amazon.com. And he'd have listened to me quietly, nodding his head and uh-huh-ing in all the right places.

Then, i wanted him to read the book aloud to me. And he'd have used different voice intonations for all the different characters, although the book was really just a long internal monologue.

But i remained silent and kept reading over and over again the same sentence.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Ben Laden is dead but i thought he was already dead


Ben Laden is dead. He died for his sins or smthng. His body belongs to America now.

Die, die Ben Laden, we never knew how to spell your name, anyway.

Really, i thought he was already dead. So it's like he died twice.

But he was really bad, so he should die at least twice.

The internet is happy, cause Ben Laden is checking his fb account from hell.




Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Retrospectively, all the things you said were kind of mean


You said i could come over to your place.
I said i didn't know where it was cause i had never been there.

I said we should meet near the pharmacy.
You said it was too far.

You said smthng vague about turning left/right or smthng.
I said i'll see what i can do.

You said i was late.
You said you almost fell asleep.
You said i could have a glass of milk in the kitchen.
You said i would have to go to the kitchen by myself.
You said smthng forgettable about 'Saving Private Ryan', or another blockbuster movie i had not seen, while i was standing alone in the kitchen.

I said i liked 'Never Understand' by The Jesus+Mary Chain.
You said you liked it too, but you didn't.

I said i could probably learn anything.
You said anybody could learn anything.

I said i never know when to leave.
You said 'leave, now'.



Monday, April 18, 2011

If that song was famous i would say it's overrated




I want to write a post focusing only on one song. The hardest part is that i don't have anything particular to say about that song.

I think it was written in the key of ____ major/minor or smthng.

He sings in English and i feel like he's improvising the lyrics. It seems intense, though.

I feel comfortable thinking that lots of people have never heard this song. If that song was famous, its beauty would become vulgar. I think.

Interesting part:

At 3:18, when he says 'oh well i could have loved you. You know i once believed in you'. This sentence is very tragic. I want to use it someday, without giving any credits to that song, ofc.

I had written several more sentences and deleted every one of them. All my posts contain more or less the same words, except in a different order. I could have deleted that one too.


Sunday, April 17, 2011

Jurassic Park wasn't that good nor was it very influential


Jurassic Park 1


- In Jurassic Park 1, a lame ass lawyer is eaten alive while he's hidding/pooping in the toilets. You don't feel too sorry for him or anything.

- In Jurassic Park 1, nobody ever kisses. Even the couple of paleontologists seem stuck in the 'friend zone'.

- In Jurassic Park 1, there's a mathematican with a leather jacket, and he says nihilistic/post-punk stuff. He becomes the hero in Jurassic Park 2, but he refused to be part of the Jurassic Park 3 pyramid scheme.

- In Jurassic Park 1, there's a paleontologist who doesn't love children too much, cause he prefers old fossils.

- In Jurassic Park 1, some dinosaurs are bigger than others.


Jurassic Park 2


- In Jurassic Park 2, they thought having 2 T-Rex would make the movie twice better than the first one.

- In Jurassic Park 2, there's a silly scene where some broad rescues a bb T-Rex cause its leg is broken. She wants to heal the baby T-Rex cause she's a lil bit disconnected from reality. She asks a guy to spit his chewing gum so she can use it to repair the leg of the bb T-Rex.

- In Jurassic Park 2, a lil black girl defeats a very dangerous dinosaur by doing some gym/cheerleader trick.


Jurassic Park 3


- In Jurassic Park 3, the dinosaurs are very very smart.

- In Jurassic Park 3, nothing really makes any sense. They just wanted to make another movie, i guess.

- In Jurassic Park 3, a guy steals some dinosaur eggs and the dinosaurs refuse that kind of uncivilised behaviour.


Jurassic Park 1/2/3


- In Jurassic Park 1/2/3, no human being ever kills a dinosaur.

- In Jurassic Park 1/2/3, the same uplifting instrumental music is used. It's the classic 'Jurassic Park Theme'.

- In Jurassic Park 1/2/3, there are annoying children who are way too smart.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Some of my happiest moments in life occur on AOL instant messenger


When i was just a lil boy, my parents sacrified themselves to get an Internet connexion before ≈ 80% of the rest of the world. Two summers in a row, they stayed at home instead of going on holidays, in order to save enough money to buy our first Internet.

To this day, i still love them for that.

When we finally had the Internet, my mother called me with a serious voice intonation and she told me to watch this VHS tape about the dangers of the Internets and all:


I know yall probably think this video is silly, but i swear it saved my life a bunch of times.

Things i've learned while watching this video:

- You should tell your parents if you see smthng confusing on the Internets

- White girls own Asian slaves because Asian people type faster

- Your parents should chose your fb profile pictures

- If you upload a picture of u on the internets, somebody somewhere is tugging one out while looking at it

- People on the Internets who pretend to be named Lisa are usually sleeveless creepy moustache bros

- Never chat on the internet with somebody you know irl

- Hip-hop songs make the end of a Public Service Announcement more dramatic


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

If i watch a movie without the sound, i feel like they're whispering emo stuff


I want to create a Word file with all the memories i have

so if i get Alzeihmer's disease someday

i'll open the file and remember everything about u



And i want to make a list of all the things that bar was too alternative for:

Soaps

Lights

Bathroom doors



They're playing the Talking Heads LoveComesToTown.mp3

That's depressing+good but i don't know in which ratio yet

Oh wait, now i know



It's depressing

Liz Taylor died that day.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Sad Alts



















Sometimes, on the popular website lookbook.nu i see pictures of alts that look really depressed.


Hey buddy,
it's me
don't be so sad, everything's gonna be alright
i promise

I know TheJoyDivisions were a chill band and all
(they were the best)
i know Love Will Tear Us Appart
but come on, bro

Jesus, you haven't showered in like 10 days
do you think Ian Curtis would be proud of you?
he would want you to have a hot shower
he was a very clean guy

You know, I've seen the movie Control too
(great one)
i loved it when they signed the contract with their blood
blood will tear us appart

Bro,
life is not all about feeling dark+sad+other negative traits
the clouds make way for the sunshine,
bro