Monday, April 30, 2012

i would defeat your dad in a wet tee-shirt contest

sexy girl asks me for a light
sexy girl steps on my feet 
a little
sexy girl sees me as a giant lighter carrier
- sexy girl i like your top
- it's a dress
- it's a tee shirt
- it's a sock
no i dont know
sexy girl it's ok if you want to steal my lighter
i dont want to give it to you
but if you steal it from me i wont say anything
do you want me to teach you 
how to soundlessly murder an infant, sexy girl?

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

do you remember when you spoke with a baby voice and i wanted to punch you a little

i wouldnt mind if a tsunami hit me in the face when i sleep

i wouldnt mind living in a country where cats would make all the important political decisions

i wouldnt mind lecturing a small group of students about something non-controversial, like vacuum cleaners

i wouldnt mind being unsure about everything but im probably wrong

Friday, April 20, 2012

we can still be ≈ friends

i want to organize an event named 

'big mass exodus from my life'

everybody will join 

or at least 'tentatively attend'

and when they come

i will just wave goodbye 

with a barely perceptible hand motion

Sunday, April 15, 2012

underaged bat pregnancy

under a good light you could see all my ribs
through the front of my chest
and count them to sleep
but it's really dark here
and i don't particularly have a light
yesterday the bats have left my apartment
cause i've been crying for the last 10 000 years
and the floor was a little flooded
just kidding
they never left
i offered them black roses
dyed industrially

Saturday, April 14, 2012

short story tentatively named 'titanic 3D' or 'brigitte bardot'

i wish Prunelle was a radio-controlled floating cat
she would still be a domestic cat
except with additional floating abilities

for some reason

on a sunny afternoon
i would bring her to the lake
drive her super fast
possibly break a few world records too


after a month or so
her fan base would have grown a lot
and when i'd bring her to the lake
people would be all like

'oh shit, it's Floating Prunelle over here'

that's when i would quit my corporate job
to travel with Floating Prunelle to asia
until she would catch a rare aquatic disease
causing her lungs to be replaced with water lilies

because of me

Prunelle would cough a lot and give up smoking
but she should never have started smoking in the first place
i would bring her to a mountainous place where the air is so dry
that it can cure many aquatic diseases
she would stay in bed for several months
in a mix-gender (humans + cats) hospital
run by a precocious young doctor

soon enough

the water lilies that replaced her lungs would stop growing
and i would start writing an evasive poetry book
about her rare aquatic disease
and how she became
a radio-controlled

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

the ultimate guide to conversation: high school 'stoner' edition

________ smokes weed with his mother/father. it's really cool

when i'll have my own appartement, i'll grow weed. it'll be really cool

it's when im NOT high that my parents usually think im high. it's not really cool but also kinda cool in a way

marijuana can cure diseases and all. it's really cool

______ is always high. he's really cool

native american indians, vietnam soldiers and shakespeare all smoked weed. that's why they were all really cool

in holland u can buy weed everywhere it's not illegal. it's really cool

we made some weed cookies yesterday and ate them and i cant really confirm if it was really cool cause we were already high when we ate them. guess it was really cool, though

Sunday, April 1, 2012

michael jordan

when i was 8
or maybe 9
i played basketball for one year
i think

i only have 2 memories of my NBA junior years

the first one is that time when i skipped the weekly training
because i had a stomachache
and i went to the hospital
and they said i should eat more vegetables

the second one is that basketball match i played
i dont remember who won
i dont remember who were the opponents
i dont remember if i even touched the ball once
i dont remember if the trainer gave us a pre-game pep talk
i dont remember if we showered collectively
or if we showered at all

but i know this match happened
because i saw a picture of it
in my parents old photo book