Sunday, November 15, 2015

inedia


one night of bad sleep equals to six months of a very sugary diet

coffee is good bad not evil for your heart but potentially cancer-causing for your bladder

practicing a physical activity for thirty minutes everyday is not enough

and one single can of soda contains more sugar than your whole daily needs

five vegetables should be eaten everyday but they’re semi full of pesticides

meat is murder

fishes have feelings too

you might as well survive on sunlight alone


Wednesday, November 11, 2015

lou reed died

i once had a birthday
all the leaves fell off the tree outside my place
the days got shorter and colder
you messaged me
said it was butt dialing

i once had a nightmare
a storm was hitting a camping site
tents were flying around
i was walking in a river of mud
looking for you

jack victor ashley and everyone they knew


‘The young and the restless’ is known in france under the dramatic name ‘les feux de l’amour’. ‘Fires of love’. My grandmother used to watch it at 13h00, everyday, year after year. Then my grandfather passed away, the television remained turned off. And jack, victor, ashley went their own way.


nothing much to say: a memoir


During my first year of junior high school, I once accidentally had lunch at the cafeteria, sitting face to face alone with the most popular/cool boy of my class (late 90s standards). Amazingly enough, we did not have much to say. Struggling behind my foggy glasses i took the big leap :

- i think Jennifer was prettier before she had braces on…
- hell yeah
- ...
- ...
- ...
- ...
(from here to eternity)

love’s going out of fashion


you once wanted to have
the most spiritual
intimate
pleasurable
mind-blowing
door opening
passionate
tantric sex

but we didn't really know how
so we went to bed instead
zzzz


something i remember from an anais nin short story


in the medieval times, a crusader who was leaving
gave the key of his wife’s chastity belt to his best friend
they took a selfie together and smoked a cigarette
half an hour later, his best friend sent him a whatsapp message

‘dude
this is not the right key’


how to win friends and influence people at work (plus the colors I mentally associate with the days of the week)

how are you doing
like a monday
[red]

how are you doing
oh well like a thursday
[yellow]

how are you doing
halfway there you know it’s wednesday
[green]

how are you doing
it gets better on thursdays
[orange]

how are you doing
doing good, friday it is
[blue]

[and if you really want to know
saturday is brown
and sunday is white]

even the sea sometimes has trouble being blue


Hans Christian Andersen, nineteenth century Danish author of fairy tales such as The Little Mermaid, The Ugly Duckling and The Snow Queen, feared being buried alive and always let a note by the side of his bed at night that read:

‘I’m not dead, I’m only sleeping’

But the real danger lied bellow: in the spring of 1872, Hans Christian Andersen fell out of bed, was severely hurt and never fully recovered.

the last supper (pleading al dente pasta recipe)


you could have boiled water in a large pot and added salt

it would have been nice if you had added pasta when water was at a hard boil

you could simply have turned off the heat, removed the pan from burner and placed a lid on the pot

then you could just have set timer for 15 minutes (duration might vary, please refer to the instructions on the pasta box)

once 15 minutes would have been reached, it wouldn’t have been too difficult to drain off the water


every adult dog growls barks eats (with a few changes)


when i was a child, i used to fall asleep at night looking toward the bedroom’s door

i thought that if a burglar or somebody was about to murder me during my sleep, at least i could see him/her/it coming

nowadays i would prefer not to

Monday, November 2, 2015

Autumnal evening (smile please)


I was quietly reading Jean Rhys’ unfinished autobiography in my dirty bathroom when my cat suddenly awoke in the living room.

She started meowing frenetically. All kinds of meows, punctuated by dozens of question marks: ?????? ???  like a child waking up from a nightmare and feeling abandoned at home.

She proceeded to move her meowing symphony closer to me, she entered the bathroom, put one paw against the bathtube, blinked her eyes and said:

‘i repent openly, i did not open my agenda this week and i just realized that i forgot the memorable 26th of October 1985. I blame myself for this thoughtlessness but to me days all look alike  and i’m sometimes trying to find out which day it is. So please accept, even a few days late, that i wish you from the bottom of my heart: 

happy birthday’