Sunday, January 29, 2012

i envy those people who die alone in their apartment and get eaten by their pet the following week

i had a work-related dream last night
they suddenly wanted me to become a chief cook
and cook for 500 persons in addition to my vaguely scientific job

i tried to explain that it was impossible
they told me there was no other way
and a conspiracy theme song was playing in the background

i said:
'jesus, im so skinny, i cannot even cook for myself
and how do you expect me to cook for ≈ 500 persons'

they said:
'look here junior, don't you be so skinny
and for heaven's sake don't you be so sad'

the conspiracy theme song kept on playing
cause there was no other way
and by the end of the dream i agreed to become the chief cook


Tuesday, January 24, 2012

i dont know what i would have to tell you to make you believe i mean it

socrates said 'i know one thing, that i know nothing'

somebody else said 'i don't even know if i know nothing'

i dont know who said it

Thursday, January 5, 2012

i watched a documentary where a fish was dying and spinning on itself while drowning into the water

i want to eat a lot, become real fat and be transported to work every morning by helicopter

i want to have a liposuction performed on me by careless doctors, and have all my flesh accidentally absorbed by the liposuction machine.

i want somebody to lecture me for a very long time and when it’s over i would feel incredibly guilty about stuff im not even responsible for.

if u give me ur fb password, i’ll pretend to be u and write cool stuff to ur friends.

someday, somebody will tell me im ‘passive aggressive’.