tupac is alive with hennessy and coke

when i was young there was a small black and white drawing pinned on a board at my grandmother's house

it was hanging on a wall near the telephone

you could see two 70+ years old holding hands dancing together

one was asking to the other:

'of course you love me now...
but will you still love me when im old?'

and i remember i didnt understand how it was funny/sad

love is kinda crazy with a spooky lil girl like you

these are godless times
you're in the shower
and there's blood on your legs
let's pray together

i should have told you
you're a woman now
the first sin was the prom
let's pray together

Eve was weak
and so were you 
Carrie White
let's pray for the last time together

you, the knife and i

each time we have a squirrel it almost breaks my heart

hey!
look out!
the sky is grey
my memory is bleeding
and you're always 7 hours late

mais ne nous délivrez pas du mal

i like easy things
easy challenges
with easy accomplishments
baby talking

oh well 

barely talking

at all

i wanna scratch your back
or bite you
if that's easy to do too
flowers of romance
lips that taste of tears
how do i miss
cat kisses you sent
from your little dinosaur eyes

tears for bowie

knock knock

who's there

not you

not anymore

copper

have no fear little one im here to protect thee

last night i dreamed about you

you were wearing white jeans

and holding a telephone 

you had a rare brain disease

and asked me to confirm that

you were really holding a telephone

you slowly immersed half of your face

into a corrosive acid bath

the green acid dripped from your face

but it did not burn 

why isnt god giving cash prizes

let's move to manhattan

let's be friends with the neighbors

let's have lunches with the neighbors

let's drink homemade vitamin juice

it has an undertaste

let's cut your hair

it looks awful

did you really pay for that

let's have a baby

let's have a painful pregnancy

let's see another doctor

a new one

a better one

let's drink more homemade vitamin juice

all of them juices

wait no nevermind it just stopped suddenly

the pain

there is no conspiracy

what the hell rosemary

let's give birth to the baby now

satan is his father

and his name is adrian

they use blood in their rituals and the blood with the most power is baby's blood

when you mumbled
'it looks like you have never eaten anything' 
your lips barely moved at all


when you walked into that filthy crowd
like jesus on the water but not really
your feet barely moved at all


when you kissed me goodbye
a semi-confusion followed 
and the earth barely moved at all

monolithic ass face

after the nurse stuck a needle in my arm
and after my blood pressure suddenly dropped


after she complained about not being able to fill up her syringe
and after my nonexistent soul started to leave my body


that's when she offered me 
a small chocolate brownie

sophie hurts

non-exhaustive list of the things sophie said that night:


- i hope the concert starts soon


- no i dont want a drink


- i just reply 'yes' but i have no idea what you're talking about


- im not really into the cat thing


- im complicated


- ok im leaving

if it kills me and it will

i went to that 'outdoor 80s party'

it was nice there

i hated it

no i dont know

that girl had a nice shirt

a woman's shirt

i would wear it too

you're my heart you're my soul

oh well

did i accidentally create an empty space 

around me

if i wear sunglasses nodoby will see me

wake me up before you go go

you dont really have to

because you're not going home with me

how old is 'too old to party'

some of them were like 40+ years old, right 

take on me  
whatever that means 
cigarette ashes leave white stains on black jeans 
dont you know it 
take my breathe away wow 
coud it be the best song ever

if that gross guy touches his genitals again
and he did
i will leave

recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum

five years from now i want to be piloting a huge ass time machine and organize group tours for people who wish somebody had 'cock-blocked' their father on the day they met their mother

the only problem being 'whats the standard fare for a time-travel' 

more realistically though

i want to own a cat café like they have in tokyo

the only problem being 'how to keep the cat café clean and shit-free'

i dont know

i wouldnt mind living in a black hole, i guess

sometimes i feel that if i burn things im doing you a favor

you take the elevator when you hear the neighbors talking in the staircase


you cry when you watch funny TV shows and wipe your tears with the fur of your cat


you accidentally wear cardigans made of cat hair


you easily get hurt


wow so easily


congratulations


you know that not washing the dishes never has any real consequences


you know nothing


you said his story was cool and you called him 'bro'


you went on a school trip for one week in england 10 years ago and did not talk to anybody


you feel dizzy all the time now

mumbling out loud

you are my favorite rapper ever

or r'n'b singer

i dont know

i loved ur last album

and i will love the next one even more

congratulations on feeling a little bit worse each day

sometimes i make very small changes and i expect them to have MAJOR consequences


recently i moved 3 black pillows from a chair to the couch


ok

i would defeat your dad in a wet tee-shirt contest

sexy girl asks me for a light
sexy girl steps on my feet 
a little
sexy girl sees me as a giant lighter carrier
maybe
- sexy girl i like your top
- it's a dress
- it's a tee shirt
- it's a sock
no i dont know
sexy girl it's ok if you want to steal my lighter
i dont want to give it to you
but if you steal it from me i wont say anything
ok
do you want me to teach you 
how to soundlessly murder an infant, sexy girl?

do you remember when you spoke with a baby voice and i wanted to punch you a little

i wouldnt mind if a tsunami hit me in the face when i sleep

i wouldnt mind living in a country where cats would make all the important political decisions

i wouldnt mind lecturing a small group of students about something non-controversial, like vacuum cleaners

i wouldnt mind being unsure about everything but im probably wrong

we can still be ≈ friends

i want to organize an event named 


'big mass exodus from my life'


everybody will join 


or at least 'tentatively attend'


and when they come


i will just wave goodbye 


with a barely perceptible hand motion

underaged bat pregnancy

under a good light you could see all my ribs

through the front of my chest

and count them to sleep

but it's really dark here

and i don't particularly have a light

yesterday the bats have left my apartment

cause i've been crying for the last 10 000 years

and the floor was a little flooded

just kidding

they never left

i offered them black roses

dyed industrially

short story tentatively named 'titanic 3D' or 'brigitte bardot'

i wish Prunelle was a radio-controlled floating cat

she would still be a domestic cat

except with additional floating abilities

for some reason

on a sunny afternoon

i would bring her to the lake

drive her super fast

possibly break a few world records too

unintentionally

after a month or so

her fan base would have grown a lot

and when i'd bring her to the lake

people would be all like

'oh shit, it's Floating Prunelle over here'

that's when i would quit my corporate job

to travel with Floating Prunelle to asia

until she would catch a rare aquatic disease

causing her lungs to be replaced with water lilies

because of me

Prunelle would cough a lot and give up smoking

but she should never have started smoking in the first place

i would bring her to a mountainous place where the air is so dry

that it can cure many aquatic diseases

she would stay in bed for several months

in a mix-gender (humans + cats) hospital

run by a precocious young doctor

soon enough

the water lilies that replaced her lungs would stop growing

and i would start writing an evasive poetry book

about her rare aquatic disease

and how she became

a radio-controlled

floating

cat

the ultimate guide to conversation: high school 'stoner' edition

________ smokes weed with his mother/father. it's really cool

when i'll have my own appartement, i'll grow weed. it'll be really cool

it's when im NOT high that my parents usually think im high. it's not really cool but also kinda cool in a way

marijuana can cure diseases and all. it's really cool

______ is always high. he's really cool

native american indians, vietnam soldiers and shakespeare all smoked weed. that's why they were all really cool

in holland u can buy weed everywhere it's not illegal. it's really cool

we made some weed cookies yesterday and ate them and i cant really confirm if it was really cool cause we were already high when we ate them. guess it was really cool, though

michael jordan

when i was 8 or maybe 9

i played basketball for one year

i think

i only have 2 memories of my NBA junior years

the first one is that time when i skipped the weekly training

because i had a stomachache

and i went to the hospital

and they said i should eat more vegetables

the second one is that basketball match i played

i dont remember who won

i dont remember who were the opponents

i dont remember if i even touched the ball once

i dont remember if the trainer gave us a pre-game pep talk

i dont remember if we showered collectively

or if we showered at all

but i know this match happened

because i saw a picture of it

in my parents old photo book

do juggalos dress up as regular humans for halloween

intrauterine life lasts 9 months

then you cry a lot because somehow

you already know it will suck

dying takes 0 - 100 years

depending on many factors

including how goth you are

the rotation of earth around the sun takes 1 year

and sometimes it's closer to the sun and that makes it hot

it will happen next year too, just so you know

sadness

lasts

forever

non sequitur conversation i had with the bot from cleverbot.com that seemed more enjoyable than the conversations i had irl the same day

you're not alone (you live with millions of bacteria)

if i ever seem to know something about a specific topic

please believe all research was lazy and wikipedia-based

at best

sometimes i french kiss my cat and consecutively report this unappropriate behaviour to the left side of my brain

my mood is a rollercoaster

a rusty old one

in a ghost town

it was you charlie

and i feel like

i could have been somebody

maybe

i think i wouldnt mind

if my arms were longer

than my legs

if god loves me, why cant i get my locker open

i'm my own childhood friend

and i dont really have anything

to tell him

anymore

i eat alone in my car 300 days a year

'hannah and her sisters' is not a name for a cat

drive for one hour

park your car in front of a muddy isolated farm

feel worried about the car being stuck forever in the mud when you'll try to leave

ask the first hillbilly you meet if she works there

make a small inexpressive noise when the hillbilly complains about not finding the ashtray or something

enter the cat room

see a piece of furniture with many baskets and cats sleeping in them

notice the poo/vomit on the floor

think about rubbing your face with the poo/vomit

notice a tabby cat who seems alive and/or not too dull

pet the tabby cat

notice another grey cat

try to pet the grey cat and watch her slip between your fingers like an eel

listen to a volunteer hillbilly explaining it might take a little more time to be able to pet the grey eel cat

translate in your mind: the grey eel cat is unpettable for the next 10 years

adopt the tabby cat that seemed alive and/or not too dull

put her in a carton box

put the carton box in your car

close the carton box and deprive the cat of seeing daylight

feel like a butcher

get your heart broken when the cat starts meowing/crying

feel like a murderer

start petting the outside of the carton box

feel like john lennon

notice the cat stops meowing when you pet the carton box

feel like martin luther king

spend the rest of the drive silently petting the carton box with your right hand

'i see' said the blind man. 'no you dont' said the dumb man

do u still have my number

look under the name

'passive aggressive beta with a serious victim complex'

now if you text me i will buy you

the housewife's dream shopping list

• foot spa massager thing
• body scale with body fat analyzer and 3 other functions
• big ass stainless steel washing machine
• nice jeans

cause u have nice genes

• automatic toothbrush with adjustable speed

and i will help u to find the right speed

so it won't make ur sweet mouth bleed